I went to Barre and photographed Cooks Canyon.  A nice place to walk.

2018

I expected 2018 to be a good year.  I was looking forward to having cataract surgery on my right eye which has had a cataract in it since birth.  I assumed that all would go well.  Unfortunately, even though my vision is nearly perfect in that eye now (close up) I had every complication that could have arose.  I had post capsular opacity (that's where the sac behind the lens gets cloudy), I had macular edema (where the retina becomes swollen) and an attack of uveitis (an inflammation in the back of my eye that causes pain, blurred vision and irritation and can lead to blindness - oh boy!).  On top of that I suffered severe anxiety (similar to PTSD).  I was nearly blind in that eye and suddenly everything became sharp and for me quite jarring along with the incredible light that was now able to be sent to the brain.  My surgeon said my brain would adapt and it has over time (8 months) but now I have to wean myself off the powerful anti-anxiety medication Lorazepam.  But the year is coming to an end and hopefully all of this eye problem. 

Putting that all aside, there are many positive things I take away from the experience.  I've grown as an artist (struggling to paint with all these things happening to my vision was not easy).  I "see" things a bit differently.  I've slowed down, I've tidied up my house, I've learn to stop and smell the roses and the grass and my kitty and the clean sheets and towels.  It's the little things that really matter, isn't it?  I may not have a big house, a fancy car or a lot of money but I have my health.  It's not great but it's good enough.

I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I am "good enough".  I always felt somehow lacking in many areas.  I never became a doctor, or a writer or a famous photographer.  But I have some friends, one best friend and I have nephews that I love dearly.  And now a grand niece and grand nephew.  I have a sister who is my constant critic but sometimes she does like stuff I paint or an image I submit to Facebook.  She's flawed and we don't always get along but I'm flawed too. 

I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish by writing this this morning but it's just there inside needing to come out.  I suppose that's what a writer does....they think of things and rather than just thinking, they write it down.  OMG if I did that we'd have volumes here instead of pages.  Nonethe less, it's Saturday and I want to put up my Christmas Tree.  I'm sad because I don't like doing it alone and I'm single and have never liked doing things alone but that what it always seems like what my life has been.  I've had a few boyfriends here and there but nothing lasting.  Even my marriage lasted only a few days in my heart. 

We'll there's only 2 more weeks left of 2018 and I'm not looking forward to 2019 as a year that will beat all years.  I just hope for a year of peacefulness, reasonably good health, enough income to put food on the table and a roof over my head.  Everything else is gravy. 

Salisbury Beach State Reservation - Salisbury, MA

I took to trip to Salisbury Beach State Reservation this weekend.  Since I turned 62 this year I was able to get a senior pass to all the MA state parks for only $10 and that lasts for life.  So, already I'm ahead of the game.  Admission to the park was greater than the price I paid for the pass.

Here's a few photos of the park.

Portraits I have taken the past few years

Cows

Cows can be pretty interesting

Shifting Gears

Through the years I've wandered all over the countryside taking photos of things I thought were interesting.  And yes, my Facebook friends usually have found them interesting as well.  I get dozens, sometimes hundreds of "Likes" a few "Shares" and lots of comments but for me I'm going to slow down.  What does that mean for the people who view my images?  I'm not sure.  I'm not sure if my images will get better or if I'll totally stop taking pictures altogether.

The computer has become a problem for me.  I sit here while editing and get a sore neck.  My back aches and my eyes bother me.  I spend way too much time here editing.   So....  Where do I go from here?

Well, probably less posting of images and more talking about the process of why I took the photo, where I took the photo and what it means to me.  I'll also ask if it means anything to you.

I'm frustrated with the photography business.  I'm frustrated with technology and I'm mostly frustrated with myself.  Why have I not been able to figure out my niche, what floats my boat, what really makes me happy within?  I've been a business owner all my life and I see camera companies sponsoring workshops so that everyone can learn how to be a photographer.  The photographers are holding workshops so they can make a living because the market is just getting so saturated with hobbyists turned semi-pro because the cameras now take such good images and you can get tons of free software now and photoshop is no longer the only game in town.  And with Facebook you don't have to pay for advertising, just create a group, a business page and voila - instant popularity.

So right now I'm slowly backing away from the computer, from technology, even my cameras (one is broken and I don't even have the ambition to get it repaired and I really need it).

What do I hope to accomplish with this maneuver?  Well, keep watching this blog and maybe I'll show you.

Carolyn

It's a new year and I promise to write more in my blog.  I procrastinate way too much in some areas but I should not ignore this because I actually enjoy writing here and sharing my images.

Yesterday I had to bring a friend to the hospital for some tests and didn't want to wait a couple of hours so I decided to take my little point and shoot camera out and about Gardner and see what I could capture.

I drove up Eaton Street, Kelton Street, Camp Collier Road, Brogan Road and then back to the Gardner Municipal Golf Course.

The result are these three images.

Camp Collier

Gardner Municipal Golf Course

Gardner Municipal Golf Course